Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Dream Journal #13 —Bad Timing

Wow, March was the last time I recalled a dream. 

Last night I dreamt of very normal things, with three that used to frequent my dreams before, A, K and G.


I saw A again after what felt to be a a long time. He had changed in a way that he cared less about me-- I could feel that in the way his mind would jump from place to place without a second thought to the strange moment we found ourselves in. He asked me if I wanted to see his home and I said yes.

It was enormous! And not the 3 storey kind. Something like the Sistine chapel if you want scale on floor to ceiling. And he had this one ballroom that had satin, crimson curtains lined in gold, covering windows that went from half up the wall to the ceiling, folded in such a way it looked strong and elegant in the way it casted shadows. 

I kept telling him I was so impressed, and great job and he hardly heard a word. It was as if it was nothing to him, or he has grown so accustomed to winning it bored him. Then I asked him, "what happened to my stuff?"

Funny I ask that, and to that he rolled his eyes and said, "really?"

"Yes well it's only legitimate, you have a palace and I can't see my stuff in it."

Then this kid, a boy, probably 18 came in like it was his home, greeted A with a brohug of sorts and started yapping on about I don't know what. I thought maybe he was popping in and out. So I paced, walking around the room, staring at the curtains which were so grand I was pretty sure they were staring back at me. Time went on and he just forgot I was there I think. I went up to him and said goodbye, to which he ignored also. 


Next was K who I coincidentally bumped into at some lodge. I was there by myself, he was there with his girlfriend. He was carrying a huge knapsack. She pointed to the elevator, he mouthed his room number and they were gone. I smiled to myself, it was good to see an old friend. Then I bumped into the old youth group in the lobby and in the same way that I remember them. I wasn't smiling too much after that, and then I remembered my unfortunate visit to A's house. I told myself there was no time to feel shitty. I went up to my room, dumped my bags off and went to the rooftop to see the views.

It was beautiful, I lit one up. "Still smoking Deb?" it was K's voice. I turned around to see him by himself. He came and sat next to me leaning his head on my shoulder for just a second before asking, "how are you kiddo?"

"A lot has changed," I said smiling to him.

Girlfriend came up and called him down, she wanted help with something in the room. He told me to come with him, which she didn't want, but I was so far beyond caring about my friends' girlfriends when we were friends long before she came into his life. Sooooo, I went.

When we got in the room I sat on the stool next to the bed while he unpacked or I can't quite remember, but he asked me how A was. I told him a lot has happened since A and he owns a palace now with the shittiest, teenage attitude I ever met. Then I guess I started tearing or something haha, and K came down and sat opposite me on the bed, "what happened?"

To which I just gave him a vague idea of how I find it unfair that all the cheaters and liars get far in life. He ruffled my hair, "you don't stop thinking do you?"

"I can control it now. It's my superpower."

"He has nothing to do with you, and you did good to stop having feelings for him."

I pulled my too-much-closed-smile face and let that go and laughed, he ruffled my hair again and said "you're okay kiddo."

(side note: every dream I have with K in it he is always telling me this! The same thing be used to say irl years ago.)

Girlfriend came in and started getting shit at him because he was "distracted" to which he told her to "calm down, we haven't seen eachother in a decade!" and I sat there like, I should go, but he'd shift his eyes to mine in a way that I read as "no, please stay."

That blew over and K and I were sitting opposite eachother on the bed exchanging stories when gf comes in, all done up, and makes out with him for let's say, 30 seconds. He started laughing his way out of it, "what was that!?" 

"I'm heading to the shops, do you want anything?" she said.

"No, no, I'll go a bit later."

to which she proceeded to lean in towards me and gently brush her tongue over my lips and suck on it gently. My eyes went O.O at K. 

"That's her normal," he said as if defeated, looking away. 


I was in the lobby again, people watching. I saw the old group again, and they were giggling excited about something and headed in my direction. 

"Ate ate ate!"

All I thought to myself was shit I don't want to deal with this right now, and then they split right down the middle and revealed one G. I wanted to run up and hug him so fucking tight but I could barely move. It seemed I was so nervous and excited, all I ended up doing was O.O and then smiling like "whaaaat?" type. He was smiling at me the whole time... they went to the lifts. He disappeared into them and all I could think was, "well, that's the last time I'll see him forever I bet." hahaha! #anticlimax

They didn't take too long before they were in the lobby again, and this time they sat in a group of chairs on the other side of the room. I thought to myself can we not play games here as well? But then I ended up walking to them, to go through them, to the lifts and as I passed them, I paused in front of G and said, "meet me on the roof." to which he smiled and said okay, and they all said "oooooo." 

Then I think the dream skipped the roof or I just can't remember it, but next scene I remember he was on a stairwell holding EJ by the collar of his shirt who had slipped through a gap in the railings. I saw his glasses hit the floor, his goggles, his bible, his wallet." I slipped through the same gap purposefully and jumped, "I'll get it."

I came back up and G had pulled him in. They were sitting on the steps. I passed EJs stuff to him and G looked up at me. In a way, I felt good to have been a team with him and see him strong like that, in another way I knew I had such bad timing always. I excused myself and left.

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