Call me by my name

There is a place between heaven and hell, where the angels cry and the demons play hide and seek. It is the place where my heart whispers a sweet lullaby to a loveless child; a place so dim it is not of the comforts of the night, and yet when I close my eyes I feel all the torment, and tormented devour me. There is so much pain. A sweet pain that pulls my every wretched bone and my every aching breath. Like a hand wrapped so tightly around my neck, pushed so firmly down I can hear the slow thump, thump, thump of my pulse fill my ears. The slightest, faintest glimmer of hope left in me well in my tired eyes. My fingers trail gently over the contours of cushion, lined under the softest silk, cool to the touch and so elegantly seductive. Turning my fingers ever so gently to graze my nails against it as if teasingly, waiting for it to beckon me closer. A sharp flick from a dim lit candle catches my eye off-sight and I turn to it. The fire is so beautiful. I take the blade from its sheath and trace it cold against my chest, before turning it ever so gently to scratch across my belly. I close my heavy eyes. My home is in this place of pain and darkness and now, I set myself free.