On wealth and substance

Sitting in bed about ready to conk out. This post has been on my mind the entire day.

Did not attempt to start writing it for fear of underwhelming myself. Motivations today were almost non-existent, save the salad I made for lunch and the walk I had in the evening.

We all have these days, I tell myself.

In any case, I've been thinking a lot about the authentic self. Mostly because I've been in situations recently where the authentic self does not exist. Whatever you think about commercialism and media effects, triple that and add a cherry on top.

Which is something I am completely not used to as I have always aimed to express my truest self. Also more commonly identified as my being impulsive. Which has, I won't lie, gotten me into conflict in my past, but it's also managed to filter out the bullshit. Which I've not-so-conveniently managed to find ways to deal with, no thanks to the past two years of bullshit. Not so impulsive anymore. Still my truest self, minus the damage.

I relapse sometimes.

Anyway.

Situations I get into where it's about being the better man - not the bigger one, as is usually the case - who can afford what, etc. it's even down to who knows the richer, whiter (hi colonization), better looking set of people. Which is generally what I've always noticed about the wealthier people here - they're assholes. And to be completely real here, idgaf about any of it. 

If you rolled up to my place in a black Hummer, I don't care how much I love Hummers and want one for myself, I'm judging you the minute you open your mouth. The coolness of the car solely reflecting on the shit that comes out of there, plus your values, integrity, etc.

Who's heard of that?

Which is a bummer for some cos I figure, if you've been this way your whole life - who else are you other than the one who seeks to impress? Unravelling flesh with no soul; Wealth in money should come paired with wealth in substance, presence of mind, a sense of humanity and humility - or at least one of them, IMO. 

But it obviously doesn't work that way duh.

Apparently the only other country to have their culture so based around the class system is India. Maybe China? Asia-wise, anyway. Then there's the comparison of other countries that have their social systems centred round the catholic religion. Which is true, too, and easy to spot why given the history of the Catholic Church and all that drama.

We're all different, hey? I just gotta keep my head out of the clouds, and completely root myself in our Mother Earth. But who knows, I might be the fakest bitch you'll ever know in 10 years.

Though I highly doubt that.