Dream Journal #13 —Bad Timing

Wow, March was the last time I recalled a dream. 

Last night I dreamt of very normal things, with three that used to frequent my dreams before, A, K and G.

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I saw A again after what felt to be a a long time. He had changed in a way that he cared less about me-- I could feel that in the way his mind would jump from place to place without a second thought to the strange moment we found ourselves in. He asked me if I wanted to see his home and I said yes.

It was enormous! And not the 3 storey kind. Something like the Sistine chapel if you want scale on floor to ceiling. And he had this one ballroom that had satin, crimson curtains lined in gold, covering windows that went from half up the wall to the ceiling, folded in such a way it looked strong and elegant in the way it casted shadows. 

I kept telling him I was so impressed, and great job and he hardly heard a word. It was as if it was nothing to him, or he has grown so accustomed to winning it bored him. Then I asked him, "what happened to my stuff?"

Funny I ask that, and to that he rolled his eyes and said, "really?"

"Yes well it's only legitimate, you have a palace and I can't see my stuff in it."

Then this kid, a boy, probably 18 came in like it was his home, greeted A with a brohug of sorts and started yapping on about I don't know what. I thought maybe he was popping in and out. So I paced, walking around the room, staring at the curtains which were so grand I was pretty sure they were staring back at me. Time went on and he just forgot I was there I think. I went up to him and said goodbye, to which he ignored also. 

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Next was K who I coincidentally bumped into at some lodge. I was there by myself, he was there with his girlfriend. He was carrying a huge knapsack. She pointed to the elevator, he mouthed his room number and they were gone. I smiled to myself, it was good to see an old friend. Then I bumped into the old youth group in the lobby and in the same way that I remember them. I wasn't smiling too much after that, and then I remembered my unfortunate visit to A's house. I told myself there was no time to feel shitty. I went up to my room, dumped my bags off and went to the rooftop to see the views.

It was beautiful, I lit one up. "Still smoking Deb?" it was K's voice. I turned around to see him by himself. He came and sat next to me leaning his head on my shoulder for just a second before asking, "how are you kiddo?"

"A lot has changed," I said smiling to him.

Girlfriend came up and called him down, she wanted help with something in the room. He told me to come with him, which she didn't want, but I was so far beyond caring about my friends' girlfriends when we were friends long before she came into his life. Sooooo, I went.

When we got in the room I sat on the stool next to the bed while he unpacked or I can't quite remember, but he asked me how A was. I told him a lot has happened since A and he owns a palace now with the shittiest, teenage attitude I ever met. Then I guess I started tearing or something haha, and K came down and sat opposite me on the bed, "what happened?"

To which I just gave him a vague idea of how I find it unfair that all the cheaters and liars get far in life. He ruffled my hair, "you don't stop thinking do you?"

"I can control it now. It's my superpower."

"He has nothing to do with you, and you did good to stop having feelings for him."

I pulled my too-much-closed-smile face and let that go and laughed, he ruffled my hair again and said "you're okay kiddo."

(side note: every dream I have with K in it he is always telling me this! The same thing be used to say irl years ago.)

Girlfriend came in and started getting shit at him because he was "distracted" to which he told her to "calm down, we haven't seen eachother in a decade!" and I sat there like, I should go, but he'd shift his eyes to mine in a way that I read as "no, please stay."

That blew over and K and I were sitting opposite eachother on the bed exchanging stories when gf comes in, all done up, and makes out with him for let's say, 30 seconds. He started laughing his way out of it, "what was that!?" 

"I'm heading to the shops, do you want anything?" she said.

"No, no, I'll go a bit later."

to which she proceeded to lean in towards me and gently brush her tongue over my lips and suck on it gently. My eyes went O.O at K. 

"That's her normal," he said as if defeated, looking away. 

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I was in the lobby again, people watching. I saw the old group again, and they were giggling excited about something and headed in my direction. 

"Ate ate ate!"

All I thought to myself was shit I don't want to deal with this right now, and then they split right down the middle and revealed one G. I wanted to run up and hug him so fucking tight but I could barely move. It seemed I was so nervous and excited, all I ended up doing was O.O and then smiling like "whaaaat?" type. He was smiling at me the whole time... they went to the lifts. He disappeared into them and all I could think was, "well, that's the last time I'll see him forever I bet." hahaha! #anticlimax

They didn't take too long before they were in the lobby again, and this time they sat in a group of chairs on the other side of the room. I thought to myself can we not play games here as well? But then I ended up walking to them, to go through them, to the lifts and as I passed them, I paused in front of G and said, "meet me on the roof." to which he smiled and said okay, and they all said "oooooo." 

Then I think the dream skipped the roof or I just can't remember it, but next scene I remember he was on a stairwell holding EJ by the collar of his shirt who had slipped through a gap in the railings. I saw his glasses hit the floor, his goggles, his bible, his wallet." I slipped through the same gap purposefully and jumped, "I'll get it."

I came back up and G had pulled him in. They were sitting on the steps. I passed EJs stuff to him and G looked up at me. In a way, I felt good to have been a team with him and see him strong like that, in another way I knew I had such bad timing always. I excused myself and left.

Dream Journal Entry #12 — Rainbow Sand Castles

I can't remember all of it now but;

I'd just moved to a new house - owned by one of my relatives pretty sure but the house was so big I didn't meet anyone except the help when I got there. I had 3 dogs with me: a German Shepherd, a little Maltese and a shih Tzu. Kuwa, Bamba and my future dog? It was dark and I was unpacking, didn't bother turning the light. Shredded carrots with dog food in the dark as well haha. And the entire time this car alarm was going off - turns out it was actually going off irl haha.

Then I was off to some University. I was taking a masters class in something I think. It was an intimate lecture theatre and I already knew the people in there - some from highschool and some invented by my head I guess. Everything was really casual on the first day. The teaching staff were sitting at the back having a chat. I told friends we should go outside; so outside we went. Came back in and one girl who I found annoying in highschool haha - N - starts bitching about how we took so long. I asked her why she didn't join us and she strangled me hahaha. I backhanded her and she went off to tell some staff member. I ended up going to staff as well which is something I think I'd only do now given the amount of shit I let get away irl, and that teach was like you should tell this guy - he's head of theatre and a big shot. I said okay.

So teach led me up to an office where I explained the story and he told me to follow him. We went into another lecture hall with different peeps in there and he briefed them on something while he told me to sit. Next thing I remember is we were having dress rehearsal for a dramatic reenactment of the build up, climax and resolve of the N strangle. Hahaha! And these people were good. Contemporary dance and everything. I was properly impressed. And like, what the hell haha. 

So fast forward some cos I can't remember; I'm with a few of my friends at some stadium. We watch a game of futbol. The guys after come to me saying,  "hey, we need you to design a huge banner type thing to promote this league. Can you do it?"

I say yes and this was the most insane part of the dream - the method of design? You know sand art you can buy in a bottle where the sand artist layers different coloured sand to make some picture or write something? Well it was that. Except they had the technology to convert written text to layers in this stadium-tall sand art wall. And the catch in the technology was, any errors had to be corrected manually. So when I decided to change the bottom part of it I had my friends help  me pull sand out of this wall. It was fun and kind of like the color festival in India you know? Anyway. When I was done they all liked it and pushed a button and it solidified into a steel fixture - but they added something at the top, and there was a gap. I turned to them saying I didn't like that, and this dude says "wait for it, it'll be your favourite bit."

And alla sudden it lights up and there's moving captures of replays from the last game. And it was all mostly of my friend from my masters class. I was stoked. I was all woah. 

Fast forward and we're all going home and that guy comes up to me saying he liked what I did. I told him thanks and, I'm pretty sure we had a moment, but his ex wife came with the baby in a bit of a tiff and I excused myself. He caught up with me and our other friends later, and we were all headed back to mine.

All the lights were off in the house still but this time my uncle was in the living room outside one of the bedrooms. I went over to touch the back of his hand on my forehead and funny the rest of my group lined up behind me to do the same hahaha. Uncle kept peering in the bedroom and telling us to shh meanwhile. I didn't ask what was happening but it looked like the scene from a movie where someone was dying; but we were in the dark having the back of his hand touch our foreheads. 

fin 

Dream Journal Entry #11 ― K comes to visit

I was at a hotel with the family. It was New Year's or Christmas or something - not entirely sure - but there were mobs of people to push through. We were on our way to some Space City to try the simulator that takes you to the moon. I'd tried it before apparently, boasting about how real and epic and near-death it all is. Queue's were long, but for some reason we lost dad. And then somehow they lost me. I tried finding my way back to them but by the time I was back at the queuing area, the building was empty. 

And so I left to go back to the hotel. The streets were empty. My phone started ringing just as I was passing an old Victorian building. It was K checking in on me and wishing me a good - whatever it was - we ended up talking for a while. I sat on the steps of the building filling him in on most things including D. He tells me that he was actually gonna meet up with D. I said yeah okay don't tell me.

The next phone call I received was from D. He called to brag on about how K was coming to visit him from the 21st to the 5th - I said wow that's ages. He was very proud of himself. I said ya okay and hung up and was surprisingly so unaffected. I continued my walk; full moon, light cool breeze. I found a bridge that crossed over a river and parked myself there to smoke. 

Suddenly people came up from behind me, picking me up. It was Jacky and peeps, in town. "What the fuck are you doing?" he greeted me with. That's why we got along haha. Anyway, he invited me to join him and his friends out to boogie. I said okay. 

Fast forward and we were at the hip hop room at MOS! Well, it had a steel cage and looked like that anyway. Suddenly someone's noogying me. I turn around look up and it's K. I haven't been happier in a long time. I pounced him hugging him super tight. "Good to see you kiddo," he says as he's got me in his arms with his chin on my head. I spot D from the corner of my eye trying to ignore the fact. I tell K he better go. He kisses my forehead and smiles, puts on a goofy face and starts easy rocking; I copy his moves and see him mouth, "get 'em." I turned back to Jacky and peeps and danced the night away.

Next day I'm with K at the abandoned railroad next to the basketball court we used to play at. He ushered for me to lie in his arms, so I did, and was hugging him super tight as we were talking. I told him he has no idea how healing this is for me. He said he knew. He propped me up and leaned on a tree, my back leaning on his chest between his legs. He'd swap between playing with my hair and hugging me. He started telling me how he didn't want to go see D anymore. I told him to stay.

He told me he'll still take the bus he booked but he'll come back the day after. I told him D isn't going to be very happy. He said he can handle it and not to worry. I started acting like a huge dork I was so happy. I said it meant that we could go running in the mornings together, and blabla and blabla. I was making big gestures and jumping and things. Guy was smiling at me the entire time. He told me to come back, I sat on his lap, and he told me I deserve to be this happy. I hugged him again, telling him he makes the best teddy. He kissed my forehead, holding me tighter this time. 

"You'll be okay," he says.

Dream Journal Entry #10 —Sleep Paralysis

It's 4AM and I'm blogging because I just experienced sleep paralysis.

Mine felt like girls hands, one on my forehead pushing down, one on my chest, then two more around my hands. They felt human. I tried screaming and no sound came out, just air. I tried digging my nails into her hands and she dug back. I tried wiggling out from under but I was firmly held there. The only thing that managed to free me was when I manoeuvred my hand in a circle managing to graze the side of my hand on the bed. Seems like that did it.

Through it I actually thought someone broke in the apartment and I was going to die. Now my hearts racing and I can't believe it actually happened. They're not kidding about sleep paralysis. 

Dream Journal Entry #9— Run, Debbie, Run

I was in these 5 inch black pointed, peep toe stilettos and  a rose pink dress (or whatever shade those bridesmaids dresses were)– strange.  I was walking out of church, and church was what seemed to be a pyramid, and the staircase I was going down ran on an entire side of it.

I'd just got done getting married. Actually, I was pretty sure I got married yesterday, but anyway. I caught myself thinking, cool,  I can walk in pointed stilettos without thinking twice, given we were so high up, and it's a long way to roll down. 

Alla sudden I heard my cousin Von's voice. It's unmistakable, cos it's very deep, "huy, cuz, what're you doing?"

I looked back and he was there with his wife, his brother's wife, Matt (a friend from highschool) and another lady. She spoke, "yeah what the hell?"

I raised my eyebrows.

"Deb, I get everything else, but why would you hide from your wife on your wedding day?"

So I got married to a chick in a pyramid church, and in 5 inch pointies. Nice.

I stood there, amused at the situation, looking at my wife and thinking "you're pretty, but" yeah, kinda, uhh –ok honestly in dream it felt like she was a complete stranger, so. Strange bitch, aren't I? lol

So I ran. I ran down the entire, what seemed to be equivalent to 10 storeys of steps on one continuous slope– somehow managing to stay upright even though I was skipping steps in 5 inch stilettos.

I got to the bottom of the staircase and looked up at them all. Matt stood up right with his hands resting on his hips. He was the only one who wasn't panting from running after me. He looked at me wide eyed with a smile on his face that made me think, #challengeaccepted

I grinned back at him knowingly and faced sideways staring into the distance, before turning to look at Matt once more, before I started shifting my weight from foot to foot. My cousin knew what was coming, "oh come on, SERIOUSLY!?"

And at that I sprinted the fuck out of those stilettos it almost felt like I was flying. I looked back and cuz and Matt were just behind me, keeping pace. 

"Oi Deb, don't run more than a kilometer!"

I looked back and laughed, wiggled my eyebrows at Matt to which he shook his head at with a smile under his exhale. I spoke gently but firmly (I must've been a super athlete in this dream), "keep up boys."

And at that, I turned back around and sprinted so fast I could barely feel my toes touch the ground. 

______________________________

I kept sprinting for a while, before I woke up. And it's only been 3 hours since I fell asleep, and I'm wondering why I can't seem to sleep past 8am without waking up in anxiety these days. Heheh. But it's Sunday so, ni ni X

Dream Journal Entry #8 — The Blue Cooler

Al came over to the house to catch up mix music. It was the morning, and he brought his DJ equipment, a blue cooler and BBQ. 

"Were we going to the beach to do this?" I asked. 

"No, I thought I'd bring it to us," he replied. I gave him the shngarf face.

We were in the kitchen mixing tracks and laughing over BBQ and soda for the entire day.  So preoccupied, I wasn't aware of the things around me at all. 

Al glanced out the window and onto his watch face "holy shit it's 11:55." 

"What's wrong?"

"Hello? I have to go. Your boyfriend is coming home." 

"What boyfriend?" I was confused. 

Al bolted out of his chair and grabbed what he could reach. He was so scared he didn't bother taking his cooler. Standing at the front door he was bouncing anxiously, shifting his weight from knee to knee, "Deb come on hurry please."

I sprinted to his cooler to help him out before reaching the door. As I did that, I started remembering that very same feeling I'd had in reality once upon a time. The fear that something terrible was coming, and something really bad was waiting to happen. I remembered where I was in my life in the dream when I grabbed that cooler.

I squeezed between Al and the door, "I'll go first," but just as I opened the door, D was walking through the front garden. 

As I'd always done, I put my toughest face forward when I should've retreated. I told Al to stand behind me and just walk. It seemed fine initially, but that lasted two seconds.

We walked past D, and I made sure I was in the middle. When D and I were level, he pushed me out of the way and grabbed Al by his shirt. "Holy fuck," I said, "nonono you don't not this time."

I tried grabbing D by the shirt, pushing him away from Al, pulling him away, pulling Al away, standing infront of Al to take the swings. I was screaming and crying, "stop. please stop. for the love of god when will it end," I cried.

At that, D reached for the blue cooler I brought out and started smashing that into Al's skull against the cobblestone of the garden. Al was convulsing, bleeding from his skull, eyes puffed closed, and helpless. 

The only thing I hought to do at that point was drop to my knees and try to cover Al's body in a hug as D continued break him. I held him as I cried for help.

________________________

The crying came through to reality and I woke up shaking, and in tears. I wish it'd end. I dig my own graves. 

Dream Journal Entry #7 – Little Black Dress

I'd just come home from a night out. I was in a little black dress, and drunk. Fumbling around, about to take my heels off, my phone went off. One new message from D.

I opened it and it was along the lines of, "baby bend over when you do that." 

The moment I read it I looked up and he was standing right infront of me. bolted out the room, and through the front door, still in my heels. It was about 2AM, and was pitch black outside. 

Frantic and in too much shock to think straight all I did was run *stumble in my heels. He pulled up near me on his motorcycle and kept pace with my run. 

"Whatever you do, you realise you're not getting away from me right?"

He jumped from his bike. I barely slipped past his grip.

___________________

4:39 in the morning and I woke up a good 10 minutes ago with my heart convulsing out of my chest. 

Lets try that again shall we?

Dream Journal Entry #6 - James Franco

James Franco helped me drag my bags into his home. "Your room's straight down the hallway, to the left."

"Thanks."

I went on and took my jacket off, hung it on a hook behind my bedroom door and went back out to ask what was for lunch. 

James Franco was carrying a black shoulder sling bag, trying to roll giant pieces of colored paper into a cylinder. I guessed we weren't having lunch together. 

"I wanna do that for a living too," I half-joked, trying to fill the silence with some kind of something. 

James mumbled something under his breath.

"What'd you say?" I asked sweetly.

James just smiled at me, in a way that wasn't so much at me, more like, in spirit of me, with his eyes to the floor. I was getting really annoyed. He started struggling with his giant paper cylinders towards the door.

"Hey, don't just go. Tell me what you said."

"What?" he said, smiling at the floor again.

"You can't just mumble something under your breath every time and not share it," I was getting a bit snappy. 

James Franco dumped his rolled pieces of colored paper on the floor, along with his bag. He started punching walls. These ones didn't hole. I was starting to get scared but didn't want him to see that. He was pacing now, breathing heavily as he started to turn red.

"Dipshit. Little dipshit," he mumbled again - I caught that one. 

"You're calling me a dipshit?"

He began to let out these caveman groans. Okay, so I should've kept quiet from here, but I didn't.

"How can I be living with someone who's just called me a dipshit? I haven't even been here 5 minutes and you already can't stand me." Of course he didn't see the relevance of the question.

"UUUHH DIPSHIT STIPSHIT!"

He paced quickly over to his beautiful L-shaped sofa, took a corner with one hand and threw it against the wall effortlessly. Every breath he took now he'd scream "STIPSHIT!" after.

"James, stop. Why don't you have any respect for me? Is it because I'm not holding my own yet?" Serious question at a seriously inappropriate time. 

At that he finally turned his gaze towards me. I didn't actually know if that was a great thing. His eyes were full of rage and I was shaking, but of course I didn't want him to see that. "STIPSHIT!" he screamed before heading over to me and pushing me against his giant work desk. I hit the table hard on impact, it shifted out of position. I fell onto the floor against it, and couldn't believe this was happening, again. I was officially terrified and helpless.

"James, please stop. Please," I begged. I started to cry.

He didn't stop. STIPSHIT STIPSHIT STIPSHIT! As he walked over to me I tucked my head into my knees and closed my eyes. He started kicking the right side of my body. Every kick almost broke my ribs. Or I swore he was going to.

I was crying, "James, don't. What're you doing?"

I was lying on my left now and he started kicking my head. His kick increased strength slowly, but surely, to the point I was sure my head was going to fly off. "You're going to kill me," I stammered between my breaths. 

I locked eyes with him for a brief moment hoping to have maybe made him realize, oh yeah, I should stop now, don't want to kill her. But no.

At that, James Franco crushed my skull. 

----

Felt my skull crush, woke up after of course. 

Dream Journal Entry #5 - White Figure

Note: Typing this I was more focused on keeping my brain in the same calm rhythms as it was the minute I woke up. I've compromised the usual descriptiveness as I was trying to get this all out before I forgot the main bits. It's a long one.

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I was seated on a hospital bed, tweeting about it. Something to do with my lungs. G tweeted back, asking how I was and I didn't reply. 

I got home just before sunset and he was already there. Orange hues from the sun filtering in through the giant windows of the living room, making shadows with the sheer white curtains and the pot plants. It was beautiful. He asked how I was, I shrugged and smiled, "fine." We spoke about things twitter related, one of them was a girl he flirts with on there - Lydia of the Shi (or something along those lines lol) and I listened politely.

He reached out to me and had me sit on the sofa beside him. "Deb I have feelings for you."

If I had food in my mouth I would've spat it out to the other side of the room.  "You're joking." 

"No, I'm not."

I sat there, really confused. He put his hand on my knee. I looked at him, "you decided that just now?" 

"No I realized it."

"How?"

"Minute I found out you've been going to hospital. I felt something - here," he gestured a fist to his chest comically. 

I leaned my head on his shoulder sighing, "what the hell."

He leaned back, lying length ways on the sofa, and gestured for me to lie in his arms, so I did. It was a comforting relief I felt, and a shock because who'd ever see that coming. I lay with him, my hand resting on his chest, looking into the distance. He didn't get pissed at my lack of reaction, he knew I was tired from hospital, shocked and taking it in. No explaining. 

I liked that about him.

We started talking about other things, and exchanging laughs. I started joking about Lydia of the Shi and he joked about this girl I was close to - Carmen. Was fun.

I reached to kiss the corner of his lips. He closed his eyes and grinned as I did it. As he opened his eyes he smiled at me, and asked me to do it again. I got up on my arm and leaned in, slowly this time. It was an extremely long kiss -  slow, sensual, and full of fire. 

We pulled away slowly, hooked deep into eachothers eyes, smiling. I leaned my arm over his shoulder as he lay, head on my hand, looking down at him, taking in his eyes, and that smile.

Fast forward to a new day.

I was back home again, but it was day. There was a huge family reunion. My dead grandpa was there, very much alive and healthy, and so was my uncle who never makes an appearance. I hung out with gramps the whole time. We talked sport, and he asked me about my life, butting in to agree with me, or disagree and enlighten me with his wisdom. 

My uncle came into the room asking if I wanted tea and coffee. "Both?" I asked.

"Yes, you have coffee after the tea. And I make the best blends. No 3-in-1s."

"This is interesting! Show me."

I gestured at gramps to come join me, but he cooly nodded up at me to go ahead and walked over to his towel, grabbed it, slipped out the room.

Tito mixed 3 kinds of leafy herbal mixtures. I sniffed out each of them. One was obviously mint, the other was some rose/berry mix - and the other I can't remember. He made a pot of it for me. It smelled divine.

"Drink that slowly and when you're done, I'll make your coffee for dessert."

"I didn't know you were into all this!" 

"Things reveal themselves at the right time." He winked at me and patted my back and was out the room. 

I followed after him sipping on my tea. The rest of the family positioned in the dining area. 

"Hey!!!" 

Shit.

It was Carmen, raising her hand up at me from the other side of the room. She hurried her way over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist pulling me in for a hug.

I was trying not to scald myself with the tea.

"Not so excited to see me?"

"Forgive me, I'm trying to avoid a second degree burn." 

She flicked her eyes over to the mug in my hand, "oh."

Carmen was so beautiful, so so beautiful; but a real kid drama queen. She demanded attention and she demanded it now. She likes conflict, a lot. Through the evening she started issues out of nothing, to which I sat there blankly staring at my family, smiling at whoever'd look at us.

That night she came into bed and we made out. She wanted more but I told her I was tired. She huffed at me and nagged at me but eventually she fell asleep.

Next morning I woke up and she wasn't next to me. I dragged myself out of bed looking for her around the house. 

Spotted. Coming out the kitchen with a tray full of breakfast and OJ. 

"Spiked. Just the way you like it" she pulls off domesticated well, although it doesn't have me fooled.

"You didn't have to."

"I knew you'd say that."

So at this point I was completely over the passive aggressiveness. In any case I smiled and was polite. "Thank you."

I went back to the living room to get my phone. On silent, 1 missed call, 2 texts. They were from G. One asking how I was, the next saying that he's just checking up on me, and to call back when I can. No pressure.

I liked that about him too. 

I brought the phone back to the dining room and texted him back:

Ah, I've got stories to tell you. Lets meet up again soon.

Carmen was still in her domesticated wife routine, "sweety, who're you texting?"

"G."

"Oh. How is he?" she's known I've liked him forever. She hated him because of that.

"He's great." 

I put the phone in my pocket and finished breakfast. 

Skip forward to the evening and I was coming home from work. 

The elevator was broken so I had to take the stairs to the 11th floor. Good exercise, I thought to myself. On my way up reaching the fourth floor there was a figure in the corner, just standing there. He was in a white cloak, a white mask that had a long nose, curving down, and a white cone shaped hat. 

I was trying to brush it off and act cool. I acknowledged it in my mind, was shit scared, but acted sif I didnt see a thing. Thought it could've been a prank. Or a hallucination. Continued walking up.

On every floor, the figure stood in the same corner. All up until the 11th, where I had to actually open the door right beside him to get out of the stairwell. 

I did my nightly routine, then headed to bed. Texting G as I was snug under the doona, I felt a presence in the room. Soon after, the same figure in the stairwell walked straight past my bed. He brushed so close to me his cape caressed my arm. 

I have no idea what dream me was thinking but dream me thought she was just so tired and stressed out she was hallucinating.

I sent G a e-kiss goodnight, and went to bed. 

Skip through to the evening of the following day. The elevator was working and when I got home, I didn't bother with the lights. It was a full moon and it shone beautifully through the giant windows. I placed my things on the sofa, took off my clothes, chucked them there too, and walked over to my bed, naked, taking nothing but my phone with me. Tiring day of work I think.

I got Skype up ready to chat to G. As soon as he replied, I heard the sound notification come out from somewhere distant. I thought again to myself, thought I must be hallucinating again. 

So I sent a lengthy chat msg, trying to fit one of the stories I had from work into a paragraph for G's amusement, hit send. He was typing a lengthy one, but when he finally sent it, I heard the sound notification again.

This time I finally figured I wasn't dreaming it. I got up with the bed's throw over wrapped around me - it was cold, and I was starting to admit to myself I was spooked. Carrying the phone in my hand, G must've been typing short messages, a joke, a question, maybe a "haha" because the notifications were chiming in, one after the other. Ah ha, the desktop in the study corner of the living room. 

What was it doing on? I thought to myself. I rarely use my desktop.

Someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around slowly, shaking, it was the white figure. He took off his mask and headpiece. 

He was a she, and she was Carmen.

"What the he-"

She smiled at me and pushed a knife through the throw over wrapped around me and into my stomach.

I dropped my phone and, collapsed on my knees. "What the hell."

---------

So anyway I died, and I figure she was pissed I was 1) talking to G and also the Skype convo that revealed 2) G and I were trying things out. 

That was honestly the longest most complex dream I've had or been able to remember since highschool. Amazing. I wish I dreamt like that every night. 

Dream Journal Entry #4 - Bye bye, Kirsty

She was a head taller than I, with overly large eyes (to be fair, they were a beautiful shade of ice blue) and a gawky nose that angled out of her head with real purpose, but then kind of curved back in to stabilise. Her lips were thin, and mostly pursed; stiff upper lip would be an understatement. She had dirty blonde hair, parted right in the middle, and a really bad attitude.

"You're so ugly," she said to me. I was definitely used to it; I didn't say anything and just looked at her,  deadpan. She groaned, pissed at my lack of reaction, "that's why you have no friends." She bumped shoulders with me as she passed; the scent of her stale, over used jumper leaving her final hurrah. In my face.

I held my breath for half a minute, trying not to make it obvious, god forbid she sees me do it and she opens her gaping mouth at me again. 

Suddenly, warm, familiar lips kiss my cheek. She's always doing that. "Someone's seen a ghost!" Hannah laughs as she playfully pokes my nose. 

"No, it was just Kirsty," I shrug and smile at her.

"Oh not again," she pulls me in for a warm hug.

Hannah is my girlfriend. I was entranced the moment I met her. She has a natural glow about her, tanned, and never wears make-up, deep green eyes, dark blonde, wavy hair - like an ocean girl - and beautifully pouted lips. Her two front teeth are slightly curved in, and she hates it, but I love it. Makes this beautiful bombshell of a girl, really cute too.

She makes her rabbit face at me as she pulls away from the embrace. I laugh, biting her shoulder and slapping her butt. She's good news to me, Hannah is.

So Kirsty comes back, passing between us, knocking both our shoulders.

"OI!" Hannah screams, as her backhand shoots up in the air. "Do you not have anything better to do!? There's seven metres between us and the next wall, dya have to walk through us like that?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see ya," Kirsty shrugs, grinning like a bitch.

Hannah flares up real quick. It's one of the things I like about her. Not that she angers; but just how passionate she is about certain things. One of them is protecting me.

I quietly mumble in Hannah's ear, gently pushing my nose through her gorgeous hair to her neck, while whispering, "calm, Bunny. She's not worth it."

She tilts her head to the side, and swings her hair round to expose her neck to me. I know her eyes are closed. I plant little kisses to her jaw and back to her shoulder, biting lightly at the flesh of her neck.

Suddenly, the raven caws. And caws and caws. "Get a damn room! Oh it hurts my eyes! Ugly and uglier! Oh I'm going to be sick!" She begins acting out her scene; and for best villain pretends to spew,  the Oscar goes to... 

We walk away. Far away. Hannah and I didn't speak a word the entire way. Kirsty was something we'd been dealing with for a long time, and it gets old and annoying. 

Hannah stops walking, and sits her butt on the pavement. She wraps her arms around one of my legs, playfully groaning, while batting her lashes up at me, "can we kill her?" 

She tugs at my skirt. 

"Please? I'm serious."

I look around, then off into the distance.

"Okay."

---

And then I woke up.

I love this sort of dream because I was playing someone completely opposite to me. Well in some ways, I think I have mellowed out a lot like dream-me, but what was more interesting was the character, Hannah. She's exactly my personality when I am with my closest, minus the OI and the backhand. It was just interesting to see how it feels, from the other side.

Some days I do wish that fire'd come out when I get into some social situations, but it's mostly best to walk away I figure. I dunno.

Poor Kirsty.

---

Edit: 

I should've mentioned too that all that back story in between the dialogue - that's exactly what it felt like in the dream. It's crazy how the most unfamiliar things become familiar in your head.

Dream Journal Entry #3 - The Bear

K and I hid in the female bathroom, but that wasn't enough. Douche followed us in. At the sight of that we hurriedly locked ourselves in a cubicle.

"Hey! Open up!" 

We kept quiet and still. Best approach when dealing with a bear, apparently. 

"I'm not joking. Open up!"

Our cubicle door started taking some punches. K was trying his best not to laugh and I had the big eyes on, with a finger across my lips. 

"What the hell are you two doing in there!?"

Our cubicle door could officially pass as a battered wife. K pressed his body against it in hopes it'd stay up. I couldn't stop smiling my face began to ache.

"Leave us alone mate," K demands, rolling his eyes. He made a wide-eyed, pouty gesture with his lips at me. I laughed.

At that, Douche calmed. I grabbed K's hand, gesturing to stay quiet and wait. K saluted. We were standing there in silence with grins on our face, counting tiles on the floor. 

Suddenly, something fell on my head, something heavy; the same kind of feeling you get when a basketball lands on you from a half-court away.

"She's still mine!" Douche exclaimed. The bastard had managed to climb the throne in the cubicle next to ours, and plant a wet one on my head. At that, K grabbed my hand and we bolted out the cubicle, out the bathroom, down the hallway and ran for the car park. 

K's older brother was waiting outside with the car. Slipping in through the windows like we used to, we were off. "Imagine if we..." and at that, our car fell off a cliff edge and landed upside down, half submerged in a lake and half on the rocky shores.

Doesn't pay to be a cynic in your own dream. 

My hands got caught outside the window for some reason and bent all the way forward, pressed against the car and the rocks. Could really feel that. "You're lucky your wrists are so flexible, kiddo." K slipped to the back seat next to me and unbuckled my seatbelt.

Dream Journal Entry #2 - Safest place on Earth

In an A-Grade, tired asylum, the room had walls 3-storeys tall, mostly painted with outlines of sweat, mold, rain and whatever else. There were rough, elevated platforms along the sides of the room, maybe 5 meters high, and in the middle, a rickety wooden stage, maybe 3 meters high. 

I was in the middle being persecuted by the Chinese Mafia. I'm not too sure what I was being persecuted for, but in came my two old pals J and K.

J ran, jumped and did some 360 twist over the stage before grabbing me and putting me on his back. We were out of there in two seconds, and into the next room which had a basketball court, and a whole load of ramps to skate and shoot on.

K comes in, "someone's taken my job!" he teases. I get off J and hop onto Ks back and he takes me for a run. We're going real fast, defying gravity off walls and ceilings. I tell him, "this is the safest place I've ever known." 

True.

He turns to me to acknowledge my comment, and smiles.

Dream Journal Entry #1 - Kneel

It wasn't the usual characters in my dream last night. 

The ex dude made a cameo, but he was loitering in the background with some of his bromances. I on the other hand, was setting up tables with my first crush in grade school. We're close friends in the dream. So in the process of chit chat and table setting, a blonde dude, who I'm pretty sure went by the name of Steven (also went to my grade school) came by and sat on the chair just by me.

He held onto my free hand, rubbing my fingers. Looking up at me, he tugged lightly before softly speaking, "I'm so sorry. Give me another chance. I won't take it for granted."

"I've heard that one before," I shrugged.

"I'm not like the one before. I didn't mean to."

I let go of the fork I was about to set in place and turned all my attention to Steve. I locked eyes with his, slipping between his thighs, kneeling on the floor. He leaned over, pressing his forehead on mine as he ran his fingers through my hair, grabbing a little as he closed his eyes.

I put my hands on his neck to warm him, rubbing slightly just below his ears and whispered, "I'm not falling for this shit again, you understand?"

Steve opened his eyes and smiled slightly before stealing a kiss. I kissed back, then stood up and continued plating.

***

Well, I still don't know what Steve did.

You know the thing about dreams; they say that it's the brain's way of coping with the stresses of the day. Its way of making sense of all the shit that doesn't make any sense. In any case, I'm not even gonna delve into this one. Pretty self explanatory. But I'm pretty happy with my progress - with or without the dramatic romances.