What your sister made you feel was beyond your conscious ability to control or predict.
Or negotiate.
I would suggest what Will Graham makes you feel is not dissimilar.
A force of mind and circumstance.
Love.
He pays you a visit or he doesn't.
Same with forgiveness.
And I would argue, the same with betrayal.
The god Betrayal. Who presupposes the god Forgiveness.
We can all betray.
Sometimes we have no other choice.
Mischa didn't betray me. She influenced me to betray myself, but I forgave her that influence.
If past behavior is an indicator of future behavior, there is only one way you will forgive Will Graham.
I have to eat him.
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